Laurie at Foolery tagged my for this meme thingy. I will answer to the best of my abilities, but you should really go over and check her answers out- she is WAY funnier than I could ever hope to be!
1. What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now? A lovely and fairly expensive natural grapefruit and something scented bar that turns to absolute mush the moment water so much as touches it.
2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator? If there is, it's news to me. Not that that isn't possible.
3. What would you change about your living room? Clean it.
4. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty? Right now, I believe it's clean, but we tend to lap ourselves with the dishes- there will be a whole load worth of dirty dishes on the counter waiting to go in before we get around to unloading the clean ones that are in there, and I'm not totally sure where we are in that vicious cycle.
5. What is in your fridge? You don't want to know. And neither do I.
6. White or wheat bread? Wheat.
7. What is on top of your refrigerator? Just dust- I try to make it a rule in this house that we don't put anything on top of the fridge, or it becomes a catch-all for everything we don't feel like putting away at the moment, and then one day, someone gets hurt by the avalanche of stuff when they open the fridge!
8. What color or design is on your shower curtain? I actually had to look- we have a plastic liner with blue geometric shapes on it, and a white cloth one over it.
9. How many plants are in your home? More than we have room for.
10. Is your bed made right now? I'm going to go with Laurie's answer on this one: "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh stop you're killing me ha ha ha ha ha"
11. Comet or Soft Scrub? Sand-blasting.
12. Is your closet organized? Depends on your definition of organized: if you had never encountered the word in your entire life, you might think it was.
13. Can you describe your flashlight? We have several, most don't have batteries. What the heck is the point of this question???
14. Do you drink out of glass or plastic more at home? Glass- many types of hard plastic are suspected of causing cancer.
15. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now? What???
16. If you have garage, is it cluttered? Um, yup.
17. Curtains or blinds? Curtains- again, another pointless question.
18. How many pillows do you sleep with? Several.
19. Do you sleep with any lights on at night? Nope.
20. How often do you vacuum? That's embarrassing information, so never mind.
21. Standard toothbrush or electric? Electric.
22. What color is your toothbrush? Purple. Hear that, husband? Mine's the purple one. You're not allowed to use it just because the battery in yours is dead, and you haven't replaced it because you're too lazy!
23. Do you have welcome mat on your front porch? I don't have a front porch!
24. What is in your oven right now? Many spilled leftover unidentifiable bits of charcoaly stuff.
25. Is there anything under your bed? Nothing you want to know about!
26. Chore you hate the most? Chore I hate the least would be a shorter list. Actually, I can't think of one, unless you count lying in bed reading as a chore.
27. What retro items are in your home? I'm the most retro thing in my house!
28. Do you have a separate room you use an an office? There are 4 of us in a two bedroom, does that answer that question?
29. How many mirrors are in your home? We are vampires, we don't have mirrors.
30. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home? We have a very clever savings plan; we don't return our empties for months and months, and then we do when we are broke, and we usually get a significant amount of money for them, 'cause we drink a lot! Smart, eh? I guess the flip-side of that is that we would be broke a lot less often if we didn't drink so much, but that's no fun!
31. What color are your walls? Our bedroom: moss green; kids bedroom: navy blue; bathroom: lavender; kitchen: kind of a melony colour, living room; a badly in need of repainting light beige; stairwell, kind of a coffee colour.
32. What does your home smell like right now? Yikes.
33. Favorite candle scent? Don't use 'em.
34. What kind of pickles are in your refrigerator right now? Only dills, baby; I hate sweet pickles.
35. Ever been on your roof? No, I leave the falling off the roof to my 68 year old father.
36. Do you own a stereo? We have several ghetto-blasters and one house stereo in various states of disrepair.
37. How many TVs do you have? One that lives on a TV stand with wheels so we can theoretically wheel it back and forth between the bedroom and the living room, but it seems to spend most of it's time in the bedroom.
38. How many phones? One land line, one cell.
39. Do you have a housekeeper? If we do, they're fired!
40. What style do you decorate in? Style?
41. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints? Solid and dark to hide the stains.
42. Is there a smoke detector in your home? Of course, we are crazy and unorganized, but we're not stupid!
There you have it, folks. All you never wanted to know about my life!

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